How to Treat People in the Service Industries

I have worked in a few different occupations commonly know as "the service industry". I've buttered popcorn, served burgers, and made $5 coffee. And as a result, most of my days include being treated like shit by at least one person. Sunday was an especially bad day at Starbucks as it was a Sunday and rainy on top of that. Customers were being abnormally bitchy and it made me think of the things I didn't realize before I got a shitty job serving food to jackasses. So here's my guide to how to treat people who work in the service industry, i.e. preforming a service for you, just in case that wasn't clear.

1. Assume the Best of People

Sometimes I have bad days. Which means I still get your drink to you as fast as ever but I might not be feeling chatty, or might forget that I'm supposed to thank you for letting me serve you. It might not have occurred to you but today might've been the day my childhood pet died, my boyfriend broke up with me, or my best friend cut me out of their life. Shit happens to you. Shit happens to me. Unless I go out of my way to be mean, it's probably nothing personal against you,.

2. Don't Blame Me, Blame the Man

I am the person who delivers the product to you. I'm sure you are just trying to make conversation, but it sounds a lot like you're trying to get me to lower a price that I don't set and can't alter. I have rules I have to follow. I can only make one pot of coffee at a time, if it runs out in the middle of your cup, it's not cause I'm trying to fuck you over, it's cause that's the way I'm supposed to do it. You can either accept that or take your anger out on me. I'd really rather the former over the later.

3. When Tipping is Appropriate, Tip At Least 15%

The service was shitty. Then again, there was an unexpected rush at 2 am and your waitress was dealing with 7 or 8 tables instead of the usual 3 or 4. You're thinking about skimping on the tip. I mean, she only took your order, fixed the order when the bus boy brought you the wrong food, and refilled your drink once. 5% or 10% is totally cool, right? Nope. Waiters and waitresses make around $4 an hour because they get to accept your tips. And like I said before, shit happens. And sometimes they might fuck up your order. You should remember rule #1 when you consider under-tipping. Did the waiter/ress go out of their way to be a jackass? Were they actively avoiding you? Then assume the best of them and tip 15%. Cause that job is not fun, it is not easy, and pretending they couldn't be happier to serve you isn't what they want to be doing on a Friday night.

4. Not Sure if You Should Tip? Do It Anyway

Sometimes it's hard to know if tipping is appropriate. The easiest way to tell? Credit card receipts will have a space to write in a tip. However, there are some places tips are not put on receipts. For example, if you are a regular at a coffee shop, tips will go a long way in getting your coffee ready ASAP, exactly how you like it. Generally if someone is providing a personal service, tipping is expected and should be at least $2. When you aren't sure, offer the tip. If they aren't allowed or generally don't get tips, 90% of the time they'll say as much. Also: We remember when you don't tip.

5. Remember Fight Club

It never occurred to me that waiters could fuck with my food until I read Fight Club, wherein a waiter sticks his dick in someone's soup. I'm making your popcorn, your soda, your latte. Who knows if I buttered in the middle or gave you caffeine free, or made it extra hot? Not you until long after you can complain. People in the service industries quickly become bitter and if you're a jackass to us, we'll be more than willing to fuck up whatever service we're supposed to be giving to you.

In conclusion, remember that everyone is a person just like you who just wants to make a living even if it's not as noble or well paying of a pursuit as your own career.

Things I Would've Tweeted During My Little Brother's Confirmation

• The Bishop just fell asleep. What a douche.
• Apparently this is a bilingual mass. All the singing bits have different tunes. coincidence? #probably
• Mom just made fun of Catholics
• The kid from my sister's math class just knocked the Bishop's hat off with the incense swinger.
• Mom made fun of Catholics. Again.
• The choir director just gestured wildly with her arms and knocked over three microphones.
• Mom refused to kneel during the kneeling parts of mass. And then made fun of Catholics.
• My sister was making faces at the toddler in front of her but the Bishop thought she was sticking her tongue out at him.
• Bishop gave a 30 minute homily. And then read it again in Spanish off a piece of paper.
• My mother is complaining about the bilingual parts of the service. Oh, and also making fun of Catholics.
• At a reception where 90% of people are over 45.
• My brother just lent me his iPhone. TTYL, bitches.

Fashion: Nerd Edition

I meant to write something about nerd fashion but instead got distracted and off topic so have a diagram of "alternative style" I drew after playing two rounds of kings:

Politics: Gun Control

"People shouldn't be afraid of their government, governments should be afraid of their people."
--Alan Moore's V for Vendetta

Tonight's Daily Show rubbed me the wrong way. The middle segment was a parody of the prejudice gay couples face when they have PDA, using gun control as a stand in. As always it was very lighthearted and actually much more respectful to the people who were open carriers than The Daily Show usually is to the subjects of their "mockumentaries". It still bothered me. And it bothered me that I was bothered. I had a thought towards the end of the segment along the lines of "When people aren't allowed to open carry in America, well that'll be the day that we really embrace Socialism." Which is so absolutely ridiculous of me. I know that. I just can't help but feel that many laws restricting gun ownership or possession are not quite constitutional.

I'll be completely honest: I know nothing about constitutional law and next to nothing about gun laws. I'm one of those obnoxious people who has opinions about things that they know nothing about and probably won't ever affect them. I have no desire to own a gun. However, I have a strong belief that it is important for our Constitutional rights to be upheld and the balance of power to remain on the side of the people. The second amendment gives us the right to bear arms. Some restrictions are understandable. It would be unreasonable to be expected to be allowed to bring a gun into a prison for example. However, it's easy to see a slippery slope argument.

The crux of the debate is whether legal access to guns causes or prevents crime. My beliefs here mirror my thoughts on abortion and drugs: if it cannot be legally obtained, it will be obtained by illegal methods that will cause as much if not more harm. Criminals will still be able to get guns. A decade of cop dramas has taught me that if someone intends to use a gun for criminal purposes, they're not going to walk into Wal-Mart and register it anyway.
"If we outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns" --Unknown (according to wikiquote)

Um, so yeah. Limiting my rights is not cool. And I guess now I know how conservatives feel when they watch The Daily Show.

About this Blog and Me

I have opinions.

Sometimes I can't keep them to myself. I used to journal religiously. Mostly back when I was religious. I found that when I didn't write in my journal stupider than normal things popped out of my mouth. If I wrote down those thoughts somewhere others couldn't see than I didn't have to worry about how others would react to them. As I grew older it became more difficult to find the time to write and more difficult to trust that siblings, parents, or roommates wouldn't accidentially stumble upon it. My faith in the power of journaling also waned every time someone at church gave a lesson on how it would help future generations. Nothing horrified me more than the thought of my great great grandchildren reading about that guy in my shop class I was madly in love with in middle school.

Recently I went back to journaling. It's therapeutic. But it doesn't quite cut it. I can write the things I can't share but what about the things I want to share? What about the movies I love or the rhetoric I hate? Those things won't fit into 140 characters on my Twitter. I can only fit so many things into my Facebook profile. So, here's a blog.

What can you expect?
I am in the position to see most movies for free, so you can expect lots of movie reviews.
In a related vein, I watch an absurd amount of television and like I said, I love to share my opinions.
I am a pretty big geek so there will be loads of SciFi/Nerd stuff popping up here.
I work for minimum wage, previously at a movie theater, currently at a Target Starbucks.
I am an ex-Mormon which means you can expect me to be kinda critical of Mormon sub-culture.
I have an abnormally large number of gay friends which makes LGBTQ topics especially important to me.
I'm kinda bad at grammar (I'm having an affair with a comma--it's a secret, don't tell). If you see a mistake, please let me know!
General Rule of Thumb: I blog about things I care about. Hopefully that lines up with what you're interested in.