Things I Would've Tweeted During My Little Brother's Confirmation

• The Bishop just fell asleep. What a douche.
• Apparently this is a bilingual mass. All the singing bits have different tunes. coincidence? #probably
• Mom just made fun of Catholics
• The kid from my sister's math class just knocked the Bishop's hat off with the incense swinger.
• Mom made fun of Catholics. Again.
• The choir director just gestured wildly with her arms and knocked over three microphones.
• Mom refused to kneel during the kneeling parts of mass. And then made fun of Catholics.
• My sister was making faces at the toddler in front of her but the Bishop thought she was sticking her tongue out at him.
• Bishop gave a 30 minute homily. And then read it again in Spanish off a piece of paper.
• My mother is complaining about the bilingual parts of the service. Oh, and also making fun of Catholics.
• At a reception where 90% of people are over 45.
• My brother just lent me his iPhone. TTYL, bitches.